found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Randomize
