yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
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