I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
