just tell him i said nine months
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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