No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
