you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
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ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize