you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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