Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
