Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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