You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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