Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police scanner is talking about you again....
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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