Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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