So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
