Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i may or may not be watching the land before time
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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