My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
