i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
It's shark week go big or go home
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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