What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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