11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
