My Higher Power is John Stamos
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
