You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
is wine microwaveable?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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