I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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