we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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