god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The uberlube is also flammable
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
