check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I have tasted many bathrooms
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
