There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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