is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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