Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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