Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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