Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Are we still banned from the library?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
