he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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