His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
