The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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