after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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