I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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