Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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