dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You pole danced in your parka.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
