why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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