Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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