Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
COCAINE IS GR8
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
