sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize