windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
