that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
