Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
