that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
