the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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