So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
