I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
