And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
