dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
well you can't waste a boner
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
