i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I am mentally ready for anal.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize