never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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