I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
