I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
