i think my mom watched the whole time
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
