The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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