remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize