My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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