my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
