I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
