walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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