Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
