I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
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I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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