everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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