dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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