why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
