his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
