shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
