the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
How external is "for external use only"?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
